MzKitty :unscripted:

So 2006 is just a little bit over a day away from being a memory. I can’t believe this year is just about over. Yet…. I can’t believe it hasn’t ended sooner. It has been such a LONG year filled with various events. Of course as always it’s easy to say that there were some good things…and some bad things that happend in ‘06. I’m honestly happy to be seeing this year end. Between almost losing my relationship, having two have my two cats put down, dealing with missing my mother and handling it in irresponsibile ways, worrying about my job and IF I’d be hired on, worrying about Kris, her back problems, stress from being spread out so thin with all my responsibilities….this has been a year…. I’ve faced a lot of things regarding me personally to. Coming face to face with my depression and taking the steps needed to face it head on, has been a huge life lesson. I’ve come a long way. Now in ‘07 I need to dig deep within and find out who I truly am. I need to get out there and experience beyond the day to job..responsibilities..stresses…struggles and see what I am truly all about. I don’t like to make New Years resolutions, I simply set goals for myself. At least that’s what I’m doing from here on out. It’s too easy to brush off a resolution because we figure eh… it’s fun to say we’re going to do this..and do that…but hey it’s a resolution so it can be tossed away and forgotten about. But when I set a goal for myself I make a valid and strong attempt to see it through. So my goals for ‘07 are:

1. To get out and do things..whether it’s with Kris..or by myself.. emphasising the need to get out and do things by myself. Be brave and face the world w/o hiding behind her, it’s too easy to do that.

2. Get the apartment organized and keep it that way!

3. When it’s affordable…get things for the apartment to make it look nice. I want to take pride in my home and actually make it my home. I have a hard time doing that beacuse everytime I feel like i’m at home..something happens. Well I am AT HOME and I intend on keeping it that way.

4. Start driving and stick with it this time. Enough said on that one. San Diego traffic isn’t going to get any easier to deal with so I might as well face it!

5. Work on my depression and continue going to my therapist. She’s good people. And she has helped me big time

6. Don’t give up on a relationship with my mother. No matter how hopeless it feels.

7. Spend more time with Kris. and I’m not just talking about killing time watching a movie or something. I mean SPENDING TIME WITH HER….

8. Keep positive and driven at work. No matter how hard that one gets. I’m entering a new calendar year at this job. Obviously the hard work is paying off…even if i feel taken for granted half the time..It’s a good job regardless

9. Work on this site and stick with it. Who cares if no one goes to it. It’s for me. not anyone else. I used to blog for the audience. it’s all about me now.

10. Work on my appearance for myself…no on else.. New hairstyle. new clothes (when affordable) makeup.. all that good stuff. Gotta make myself look better for me. Simple as that.

Ok so we’ll see how that goes. Those aren’t hard goals to work on. So there is no excuse for me to slack off.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve.. Woo zzzzz hoo. There was a time when NYE meant that I’d down a bottle of wine. Who cared, I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. I’ve had to endure a huge wakeup call when it comes to drinking, getting drunk and just being stupid. I haven’t really struggled at all since the night I got plastered after not being able to reach my mother.. Which was a bit over a month and a half ago. Kris’ back problems snapped me back into a responsibiile reality BIG TIME. As NYE approaches a part of me is resentful towards myself because what could have been an innocent and safe way to ring in the New Year can’t happen because I didn’t know how to stop myself from getting drunk. I feel bad for wishing that I could have a glass or two of wine as the ball drops. But why should I ever want to do anything like that? I wish I had never been so careless and stupid that I had to take away a stupid adult thing forever. It really shouldn’t be something that is on my mind. At all. but I guess sometimes you can’t help the thoughts and temptations. it’s all about how you handle those thoughts and temptations. I have no desire AT ALL to get drunk ever ever ever again. But nonetheless I do miss the taste of wine. Well that temptation will pass and it won’t matter anymore. I get to ring in the New Year with the love of my life and we are on such a better level now than we were a year ago. We are so much stronger and I’ll be damned if I let anything like alcohol or lies ruin us ever again. We will ring in the New Year on a positive note and that feels great.

Anyway……………..whatever you do tomorrow night… be safe…be responsible…be smart but most importantly have fun!

If I don’t happen to post before tomorrow night then HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Later ‘06 Heya ‘07!

mini edit:new layout but guess what? it does show the date. not cool. go figure!

New layout! And I think I actually like it! Maybe I’ll actually start blogging now :-p

I’m putting f-k on a mini hiatus. I wanna get a layout up that I actually sit my ass down and create. So until I get that done I’m not gonna be updating. Hopefully w/in the next few days I’ll have something up and get my poor site back to being active again.

kthxl8r =)

I LOVE the option of auto-renew. My hosting which is through http://www.steadfastnetworks.com was up for renewal today. I usually do the manual renew because I’m always afraid something will happen and I’ll get screwed financially. But every year it never fails, I forget how to renew and I panic thinking I’m gonna lose my hosting. Something I don’t want to happen because when this company (which used to be host affect) was bought up, I got to keep my set $15/yr. Steadfast’s prices are actually VERY high and I would have had to go elsewhere, but since I’m locked into the set charge (the only good thing host affect ever had going for them) I got to keep my hosting and all the great features I have with it. Anyway…. talk about longwinded entry…I decided to set my account to auto-renew so that I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to renew and whatnot. I checked my email today and they renewed my account for another year. PLUS even better…. I had a credit on my account balance which I never inquired about, I think it’s because I had screwed up and when I added a domain, I got charged for it. But it was in error so all that got fixed. I guess the credit went to my account, so instead of paying $15 for my renewal I only got charged like $6 and some change. You can’t beat 300mb spage, 6 gig bandwidth, etc etc etc for under $7. Now… if they’d get rid of hsphere and gimme cpanel I think I’d just burst with joy. But ah well, can’t be toooo picky now eh ? lol Anywho……………………… YAY for having my domain and hosting account renewed for another year. A BIG yay cuz I was really considering dropping everything for a while when I hated the net but I’m slowly getting back there, so I’m glad I decided to keep everything. Even tho we need the money elsewhere, this stuff has been a part of me for so long, I couldn’t imagine letting it go. Ok I guess that’s all for this entry lol.