MzKitty :unscripted:

!!!Happy Halloween!!!

We are all critics. Whether it’s of ourselves or other people.

The type of critiquing I hate is what I get when I’m told I’m too negative and someone doesn’t want to be near me because of this. Do you think I like being this way? I hate it. It’s miserable. But it’s not easy to shake off, especially when you’ve been like this for most of your life. The more I’m told how miserable I am to be around, the more I fall into a darkness that surrounds me deeper and deeper. I make people miserable. I am a horrible person to be around. I am NOT worthy of love. And that feeling sucks!

Ok. To begin. This entry contains MY opinions. Mine alone. If you don’t like them. Go away then! This is where I get to bitch about whatever the hell I want. Not for anyone else but for me.

 Anywho….

 Internet addiction

I used to be addicted. BIG TIME addicted to the internet. I mean….. I’d spend hours upon hours online. I’d stay up til like 6am just chatting, posting, doing whatever, online. I hated being out all day cuz I was away from my computer and my friends. I didn’t have any friends offline. So I was very attached to the friends I had online. When I went home for visits I spent the entire time online rather than with my family. The relationship I was in sucked, so I found comfort in being online. When I thought about breaking the addiction. It seemed impossible.

Oi so much has changed. Now the thought of internet addictions aggravates the hell out of me. As much as I still enjoy being online. There’s so much I’d rather do, offline.

You know you’re addicted to the internet when….

You’d rather spend time with your net friends than your offline friends as well as family/significant others

When you’re proud of the fact that you’re the #1 poster of a board

When you go into deep withdrawels after being away from the computer for 30 minutes

When you feel resentful when you have to go do “real life” things on the weekend.

When you rush home from work just to be online

When you get up extra early just to be online

I could go on…but I won’t. This post will anger some. But I’m getting aggravations outta my system. I’m very moody lately. The smallest thing is setting me off. I dunno if it’s the meds I’m taking for depression, or my inner bitch coming out to play. But I am not a fun person to be around, and I am effortlessly killing the best relationship I ever had because of this.

So the damage is done. Good day to ya…

btw: If this is a post that really pissed you off, or you feel the need to get defensive. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your life, and the things that you do.

I gotta make use outta this site. Or get rid of it all together. I really don’t want to let it go tho. Hmmmmm….

I think I’m gonna make a new category. An outlet to bitch about whatever the hell I want to. Whether it’s a pet peeve. Something that occurred throughout my day. Something I saw..read..heard..whatever. Yep. I think I’m gonna do that.

But not right now. Cuz I’m still at work. Grrrr!

So anywho…that’s all.

Having a cold is no fun. Some sort of bug is going around work, and I was one of the UN lucky ones to catch it. I wound up missing two days of work cuz of it. It’s not that bad right now. I just have a horrid sounding deep cough, runny nose, and  congestion from time to time, but it could be worse. Tomorrow is friday. YAY!!!!!! Cough cough. That’s all for now.